Reflections One Year After the Diagnosis

 It's been one year since we heard the word "lymphoma," and what a year it has been!  Tony is slowly gaining strength back after chemo.  He is in remission but still has doctor and hospital appointments to attend.  I'm amazed at the human body and what it can withstand.  I've learned that people don't "bounce back" after cancer.  It's a slow steady retreat from the challenging treatments and side effects, as well as a slow steady move toward a new normal.  

I find myself acutely aware of the things that are comforting buoys in this storm-tossed sea of post-cancer and pandemic.  Here are the ways I've found refuge during these difficult months.  Hopefully they will encourage you to look around for riches you didn't know you had!

I take refuge in my Bible and all my excellent Christian books like never before.  I have tried to use all this extra time wisely and study the commentaries and references I've had on my shelves for years.  I succeeded in annotating my study bible with notes on all 66 books of the Bible.  I cherish these notes and will use this volume for the rest of my days!

I've also taken time to write my thoughts about life into a journal.  Hopefully it will be my voice handed down to my children and grandchildren.  I've never thought seriously about writing before.  But somehow this year has shown me that I can't assume anything, and also that I need to be obedient to God's guidance.  I need to number my days and humbly accept life's fragility.  We all need wisdom and help.  So I'm writing my thoughts down as a legacy.

We were given a gift recently that moved us deeply.  The girlfriend of one of my former students heard about Tony's cancer and decided to pray for us in a unique way.  We've never met her, yet she took the time to send us this amazing gift.  She made dozens of tiny origami swans in rainbow colors, praying as she worked.  And she wrote prayers and blessings on each one with a fine-point pen.  Then she layered them in a lovely jar to send to us.

  As if that weren't enough to move us to tears, she wrote a lovely letter to explain the process.  This is a traditional Chinese way to pray.  Each origami crane carries her sincere blessings, and each color represents a different meaning: 

red- all goes well, orange- full of vigor, yellow- new prospects, green- vitality, blue- fresh & pure.

I'm learning to savor so many little things every day.  A dear friend gave me some Paperwhite flower bulbs to grow and I've been enjoying their progress.

My Christmas cactus was stunning this year, though it should really be called my Thanksgiving cactus!  

I've been lighting candles every day to simply brighten our home.  This one is scented with Thyme!!

When possible I get outside with my precious grandsons and walk.  They remind me constantly of the beautiful simplicity of life, playing, singing, eating, talking...

When Tony and I got married 38 years ago, we didn't have 3 nickels to rub together.  Our first Christmas we made all our ornaments from pinecones and craft paper.  Tony made this drum from a paper towel roll, paint and yarn.  For some reason, it's giving me more joy this year than ever before!

I sent Christmas cards this year, and I took time to pray earnestly for everyone on my list.  It was therapeutic and warmed my heart. It was so good to remember that God loves and cares for each member of my family and my friends. 💛

Thanks so much for reading this blog.  I pray you are blessed and helped along your journey, and that 2021 brings joy and peace to us all.